So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Your penis caused this!
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