ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
