bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
