everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
