How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
