Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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