Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
