i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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