If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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