you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
