So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
