Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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