She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
i out mim tonsoeep
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