You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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