we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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