i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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