I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My dick has a subreddit
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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