I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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