Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
