Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
