yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
