I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
