Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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