It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
