4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
