hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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