I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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