I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
All the doctor said was why
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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