You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize