Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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