Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
