Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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