youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
