): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
