you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
