i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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