Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize