I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
