Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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