I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
