He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
