you would pick up someone in the library
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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