i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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