I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
