I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
