So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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