You work out of a Hotel?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
