Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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