He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
