big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
