I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
