Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
