I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
