I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You were trust falling into bushes
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
