Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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