Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
