I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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