so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
