We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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