what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Im part way to drunk.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
